


hide the bunny

by orphan_account



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Bunnies, Crack, Gen, based off my own bunnies who do all of this and more, implied hidekane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 05:38:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4048273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"what if hide acted like a bunny but only in the weird or disgusting ways and none of the cute ways"</p>
            </blockquote>





	hide the bunny

**Author's Note:**

> i just love hide so much

**// peeing to mark territory. emmet (my male bunny) did this a lot when we first got him //**

 

Hide frowned as he looked around at his small apartment. Something seemed... not right. He felt as if he hadn't made his mark, even after he'd spent the weekend unpacking boxes and organizing furniture. It felt as though it wasn't _his_ territory yet. Then, suddenly, he knew what to do.

 

Sakurai yawned as he stepped outside his house and onto the third floor hallway, off to another day of classes. He stopped when his shoe made a splashing sound - something was not right.

He looked down and screamed shriller than the redeads in zelda. The hall was soaked in six inches of a yellow liquid - was this - _pee?!_

Horrified, Sakurai ran back inside his apartment and locked the door, but then slowly looked down to see a trickle of pee slowly flooding into his apartment from the hall. Who the fuck fucking _peed_  in the spot in the hall between his apartment and that new guy's - Nurgerchek or something - why _that_ specific place, and why _that_ much?!

He slid down his door and put his face in his hands and cried, the pee slowly soaking his butt.

 

Hide grinned. His piss now marked his territory. No one would dare come near his territory now.

 

* * *

 

**// humping. my rabbits do this occasionally to each other and they're spayed and neutered //**

 

Kaneki drained the spaghetti, setting the table. "Hide, the food's ready," he called to his best friend, who had come over for dinner that night. When, after a few seconds with no sound of footsteps, Kaneki called again, with no answer again. He was about to go searching for him when he was ferociously attacked from behind and started getting humped!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKER!” he yelled at the stranger humping him.

It was…………………………………………………….Hide!

"I just got this urge to hump you, like that time I got the urge to pee in the hall to mark my territory," Hide explained while still humping Kaneki, "and I have absolutely no impulse control whatsoever." He shrugged, still humping Kaneki.

Kaneki could only stand still and let Hide hump him, helpless.

 

* * *

 

**// chewing and clawing furniture. this is why we don't let out rabbits out alone anymore //**

 

Hide now sat on Kaneki's couch. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was on the TV, paused; Kaneki was in the bathroom, pissing with his massive schlong. Suddenly, Hide felt the urge to rip up the entire goddamn couch.

So he did.

When Kaneki came out of the bathroom to continue watching the show, his "I'm done, play it" was interrupted by a look of horror at the sight before him. What was once a beautiful, pristine leather couch was now littered with holes even bigger than his dick, scraps of leather and stuffing everywhere. Hide was in the middle of it all, busy widening the biggest hole _with his teeth,_ covered in sweat and stuffing from the couch.

Hide looked up. "Oh, hey, you're back. Shall we watch?"

But Kaneki could only continue to stare in horror. Hide tilted his head to the side, apparently confused.

Then Kaneki fainted.

 

* * *

 

**// eating their own shit. this is a natural thing for rabbits actually, because they have two kinds of poop and one they're supposed to eat, it's like a nutritional thing, but it's still kinda gross //**

 

It was the class right after lunch and Hide felt the need to eat his own shit right out of his asshole. So he hunched over, spreading his legs, and put his mouth in his butt to get out the poop.

He grabbed it and started chewing blissfully, oblivious to the horrified stares he was getting, and just enjoying eating his own shit.

 

* * *

 

**// shedding //**

 

Kaneki noticed something in Hide's hair.

"Hide, there's brown fluffy stuff in your hair," he said, pulling it out.

"Yes, I know," Hide said, "I'm shedding."

"What?"

"I'm shedding. That's my under-hair."

Kaneki then noticed he was covered with varying shades of blond hair.

He was starting to get seriously concerned, both for Hide and the cleanliness of his clothes.

 

* * *

 

**// sleeping with their eyes open. yes, they do this. //**

 

Kaneki opened his eyes blearily and yawned, recalling the events of the sleepover last night. He and Hide had stayed up for god knows how long, giggling at the mention of the word "egg," and he couldn't remember when he finally fell asleep.

Speaking of whom, Kaneki looked over and nearly cried out - Hide was in a normal sleeping position, but his eyes were open and staring blankly into space.

Kaneki held out a shaking hand to feel the man's pulse, fearing he might have died somehow, and was relieved but confused when he felt it steady under his fingertips.

Sometimes he wondered if Hide really was a rabbit.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> follow my tumblr for regular shitposting http://beefucker6969.tumblr.com/


End file.
